ei, maria, é tudo razão da tigerlilly

There came Tigerlilly, Carroll lurking from a distance like her father. She got so close to me, but so close I shivered a bit. Them she said if I could wait a little longer that I'd see her love me. I don't think so, Lilly, but Carroll is always the one that can brighten up my day. He blinked, but knew the advice was poorly sound.

I love you, I love you, I love you she said, and she had such beautiful legs, and a most fantastic air around her eyes. A butt of an innocent girl and red lips as if she was someone's daughter. A fake laughter, so fake, oh God, so fake she liked to think it was an idiossincrasy to laugh like that. And also she'd lie greatly and poorly at the same time, 'cause she had a tick on her right eye when she did so, but it was hard to notice it. Nevertheless, she said she loved me. And I, oh I felt nothing, just a soothing comfort inside, seeing someone would break their hearts over me. And I watched with a killer's patience her love spread itself upon the table, that bar table among friends and dwarfs, those weird scenarios I kept facing. But them the light touched the outside skin of her tigh, and I could barely stand it, so I reached out my hand to touch it, and in the meanwhile her love ended. She got up from the table naturaly, I think no one had noticed she had ever been there, and she sat three chairs from me and I had this hand outstretched catching air and a bit of her cheap scent. At least it was cheap.

Eu tô morrendo de vergonha de ser eu

_|_

MEU URSINHO É UM TRAVESSEIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

granola, me ama. me ama, vai.

QUE DROGA, EU ODEIO ME SENTIR VULNERÁVEL! CA-RA-LHÔ!

uma ânsia quase infantil, se não infantil de fato e de todo

Jack Lilly Lee

Jack Lilly Lee was always kind to me

When I was really needy he would let me pee

Jack Lilly Lee had a beautiful tree

I wonder why it had a rope he named after me

Once upon a time in a very distant land

He said he met a lad he could barely stand

I understood him perfectly ‘cause once i met a boy

Who was really a lot more boring than my most useless toy

And Jack Lilly Lee must’ve liked my comparison

Cause he squeezed my cheeks until it changed my complexion

We went out one day cause he was on a date

He was kind enough to say i was a special kind of mate

He said i was very gentle and that she should see

That when we played colonization, i’d let him have the wip.

The day after that we played jockey

I’m sure he was trying to hit the horse with that stick of hockey

He taught me once how to fix a lamp

It was only a pity he didn’t say my clothes shouldn’t be damp

Anyway, anyhow Jack is a really nice fellow

It was an accident I swear, but he surely now looks a lot more yellow.

When the gentleman with the black coat arrived

He thought I was the requested private

He opened his suitcase with one hand

With the other he told me I was a rat and not a man

I sat on a chair, I did not feel like crying

I was only tired really, which was a bit surprising

He had a wife back in Arizona

Three kids, a dog and a little marijuana

He was a soldier since he was born

Cause he liked to kill and to leave things torn

As for me I was a Barbie or just an ugly hairy doll

Also, he said with conviction, I was to stay against the wall

I asked intrigued why the fuck he needed me

He said he had a new gun but no piece of meat

Three steps to the door

One chance in a million

He said don’t bother darling

I promise to wear the black ribbon.

Escreveu, pôs lá: mulher solteira procura homem atraente, charmoso, bem sucedido, na casa dos 30, cabelos curtos, olhos castanhos, mais de 1,75m, corpo bonito, leitor de bons livros, apreciador de boa música, de família interiorana e pacata e cuja vida amorosa não foi muito turbulenta. Esperou um mês, depois dois e depois três. Quando passou quatro e meio resolveu mudá-lo. Achou que pedia demais, e que dificilmente encontraria tal perfil. Escreveu: mulher solteira procura homem atraente, bem sucedido, na casa dos 30, olhos castanhos, mais de 1,75m, leitor de bons livros, apreciador de boa música, cuja vida amorosa não foi muito turbulenta. Achou que deixara de fora bastante, afinal charme, cabelos curtos, corpo bonito e boa família eram boas especificações do que procurava; mas, enfim, era melhor assim. Depois do quarto mês de espera, começou a engordar. Relia o classificado duas vezes ao dia para saber se era mesmo bom e se o tinham colocado em uma posição favorável na página, e pelo menos sete vezes checava a caixa de email. Recebeu um um dia, com foto e tudo mais, e achou que o sujeito não tinha entendido a chamada. Ignorou. Um mês depois, mudou o anúncio: mulher solteira procura homem atraente, bem sucedido, na casa dos 30, leitor de bons livros, apreciador de boa música. Imaginou que a aparência limitava muito a possibilidade de achar alguém, e entregou-se ao Deus-dará. Deus-dará que nada, Deus era guloso e nem com esse descrição seca dava-lhe alguma coisa. Deixou o tempo correr e o anúncio ficar, e ficou lá, nas páginas dos classificados, no seu perfil na internet e no site de relacionamento, bem como em alguns postes espalhados pela cidade. E ficou, ficou ficou. Quase esqueceu-se, mas não esquecia de fato. Quando relembrou-se, mudou-o de novo. Escreveu que procurava um homem apreciador de boa música e literatura. Meses. Ninguém veio. Mulher solteira procura homem. Nada. Voltou a sofrer ininterruptamente. Tudo somava já anos. Não sabia quantos. Devia ser mais de meia década, certamente era, era sim. Olhou para o anúncio colado no teto do quarto antes de dormir. Olhou, olhou muito, não parava. Resolveu fazer tudo - se estava na chuva era pra se molhar. Escreveu: mulher solteira procura alguém (assim mesmo!, sem especificar o sexo!). Semanas! Meses! Mulher solteira procura. Encontrou muita coisa. Apartamentos, propostas de emprego, chaves perdidas, carros seminovos e novos a preços imperdíveis, parcelamentos a perder de vista, sapatos em promoção e roupas fantásticas em brechós desconhecidos. Tirou o anúncio dos classificados e de todos os outros lugares onde estiveram afixados. Carregava agora somente o cartão de apresentação, porque afinal era imprescindível. Fundo branco, letra preta, Times New Roman, 12, sem frescura: mulher solteira.

Eu tenho medo, é simples.